This week, I visited the Panna Maria Cemetery for the 1st time since Robert left us in late April (for those that don’t know, it was a windmill accident at our family farm). I was on my way to a late July Mommy/Daughter weekend in Austin, and the cemetery was on the route.

It was difficult to make that left turn off FM 81 and towards reality. Thankfully, the cemetery’s side gate was open, and I could just drive in as it was raining off and on.

I stopped by our sister Tamra’s grave first and paused to remember her. I looked at the dates on her headstone and couldn’t believe it will be 20 years ago she left us in a couple of years.

I walked to Robert’s, which was still mounded with dirt with carefully arraigned artificial flowers at his head. I smiled when I saw Cotton stalks as confirmation that it was indeed Robert’s, as there was no headstone in place yet.

I took a deep breath and paused to take in the cemetery where they were both laid to rest along with many of our ancestors. It felt quite peaceful. The area was so green, and the large oak trees were full with all the summer rains we’d had. It was quiet except for a soft breeze and the chirping of birds in the Oak trees. There was a soft, rhythmic thump, thump, thump, thump from a compressor on an oil well site in a pasture a few hundred yards away.

I prayed the “Eternal Rest Grant Him, Oh Lord” prayer for Robert and recited all the Catholic prayers Robert would be praying if he were standing over me: The Lord’s Prayer, Hail Mary, The Apostle’s Creed, and the Hail, Holy Queen. And I asked God for some sort of sign. I was not sure what kind of sign, but something…

As I stepped back to leave Robert, a small bright yellow butterfly flew right over us. It was not messing around, but flittering on a determined journey from the west pasture through the cemetery to the east and beyond. I quickly lost sight of it in the pasture next door.

It reminded me that we all are just passing through as best we can on this journey we call life.

Ironically as I type this, today’s “Daily Word” devotional was “Comfort,” with the reflection on the Beatitude, “Blessed are they who mourn, they will be comforted.” May Robert’s precious wife Kathleen and children, in addition my Dad be especially comforted in their grief.

I Googled the symbolism of the color Yellow. It signifies Joy, Sunshine, Happiness, Hope, and Friendship—things Robert would want us to remember about him.

As we move forward in our own journeys, may we also live with Joy, Sunshine, Happiness, Hope, and Friendship, as much as we can and for as long as we can.

May Robert rest in peace and may all who mourn be comforted. Amen.